Then the next time you see each other it goes something like “I know we keep saying this, but we really need to catch up”.
Still doesn’t happen.
You then, unconsciously, form a strange addiction to making fake plans to satisfy your inner nurturing friend idea, knowing that it actually won’t happen. It gives you great satisfaction every time you instigate that conversation, even though you’ll never lock in a date… plus you probably don’t have the money, time or energy to really hang with someone right now.
“I’d rather hang with ‘bae’”
(Sarcasm – I would never usually use such a word).
Then one day you reluctantly had to peel yourself off the sofa to leave the house to buy toothpaste, because you HAD to. It’s a nice day.. in fact now you’re out and feeling enthusiastic you thought, you know what “I’m going to message the girls today and make that plan happen”.
You pick up the phone, search for their number and start typing… You’re energetic and feeling pumped!
But then you sit down… that couch is realllly comfortable… and you’ve almost finished the last season of Suits and it’s gettin’ good!
Justification thoughts kick in…
“Actually I have a fair bit to do today” and “they’re probably doing something already” or “it’s a bit late notice”, and actually “they’ve probably been hoping I wouldn’t ever see them anyway”… hmm, nah, I think I’ll give it a miss… so what’s new on Netflix?
The same pattern happens over and over until it becomes the end of the year, and it’s time to re-evaluate. You realise how much time was wasted procrastinating when that time could have been spent with friends.
So did you ever wonder if the other friend was thinking the same way?
It’s this kind of cyclical mind argument that I’ve battled for a long time. And I’ve realised I’m far from the only one.
I had a think about the times I made a new friend without my instigation. For example if I’d made a new friend, and much to my delight, they enthusiastically messaged or called to ask me for lunch the following week. I am always thrilled when a new friend wants to catch up.
So with this is mind, I thought, well if ‘I’ think this way, wouldn’t most others think the same way; that they would love to catch up some time too and they’re just waiting for me to make the call.
This similar fear, or doubt, is the reason I haven’t written a blog for a while. I became so obsessed with being a perfectionist in how I wanted to write, making sure everything was meticulously researched, that I wouldn’t write anything at all due to the fear of it not being good enough or it being completely wrong.
The biggest lesson I’ve learnt in the past two years is that fear is the biggest killer of fun and dreams.
I reflected on that for a while. I asked myself, what am I afraid of, and what would be the worst outcome if that unlikely fear actually eventuated?
And the answer was ‘nothing’.
Nothing would happen.
Nothing would happen if a friend said ‘no’, a store didn’t like my new product, a business wouldn’t hire me, or followers didn’t like my latest post.
All it means is you’ve got to move on and try again.
So in light of this blog, I’m encouraging you to take the leap in the next 24 hours – no not this year, next month of next week – ‘today’ in taking the first step in something you’ve feared of failure.
Call that friend, ask that person on a date, apply for that job, enquire about that course, start that new business or make that website idea you’ve been thinking about for years.
Remember this, Walt Disney failed 302 times before being approved to fund Disneyland, and JK Rowling was rejected 12 times until Harry Potter was recognised.
Give fear the flick and embrace the unknown.